If I do not wash you, you have no part with me.

Luke 17:33

Slowly, I lift my eyes to the heavens, shielding them from the blazing furnace before me. A tear falls down my cheek as I plead in my heart, “Oh God, why have you forsaken me? Alone I stand, destitute in the sand, forgotten.”

“Alone? Poor child, you’ve never been alone. I was there before you were even a thought. I molded you, crafted you, breathed myself into you. You are the workmanship of my hands. You’ve never been alone.” I search every corner of the horizon, but the voice eludes me.

“Where are you? Why do you not show yourself?” I yell.

“Here I AM… where I’ve always been. Before you. Waiting. Caring for you even if you’ve never cared for Me.” Suddenly, a figure cloaked in ruby appears, radiant like the sun but not as the sun. “Why do you seek Me now? You’ve never done so before.”

“I feel a voice cutting through my thoughts. I tried to block it out, but it won’t leave. It’s always there, whispering, prompting, guiding. I hated it once, but now… recently, I’ve realized the wisdom in its speech. The more I listened, the more I turned to hate myself. What once brought me joy now reviles me. Lust, pride, greed, and envy used to propel me to heights of glory and fame, but now… now I feel disgusted by their presence. With them gone, I feel a new sensation. Out of them all, this is the worst one yet. Loneliness has become my companion. The voice is still there, but everything else and everyone else has left. I’ve felt more alone today than ever before. This tearing, scorching, gnawing sensation wrenches my gut open, eviscerating my being until I’m a shell. A shell of the man I used to be.” Tears flow down my face as I muster the courage to look at the compassionate face before me.

“I know loneliness, and I know what it’s like to be hated. I’ve been beaten for crimes I didn’t commit, abandoned by those who loved me best, jeered at by those who traveled to hear me, and betrayed by those I loved. I know your loneliness because My Father once turned His face away from Me. We broke our immortal bond so that yours wouldn’t. I was rejected, beaten, and hated so that you would know acceptance, healing, and love.”

“How? How can I find these things when I don’t feel them? I can’t even feel the burning sand for my numbness. What must I do?”

“Sit and be washed.”

“Washed of what?”

“Everything. Every impure thought, motive, and action. You must forsake yourself to find Me in your heart.”

“Everything? That’s a lot to ask of a mortal man.”

“I am everything. Besides Me, there’s nothing. No love, joy, or peace. I am the beginning and the end. Now, sit and be washed.”

Trembling, I sink to the earth, knees resting on the sand. “You have me, all of me. I am yours. Wash me.”