Standing at the mirror I still see a young man. Yes I sprout a full beard, and yes I am not as thin as I once was, but I still see youth through my mind’s eye. I see a young man and I feel young. I don’t mean that I have the vigor of a teenager, but the way I see myself in relation to others. There are too many times I still feel small and insecure. Sometimes I feel like I have not changed much since I was 15. I still have teenage insecurities, and sometimes I don’t know what I am doing with my life. I asked God often as a teenager what I should do for a career, but now I ask if I chose the right career. I don’t know if a lot has changed in 14 years.
There is another thing that I have noticed recently. I have started to see people that I once knew, but haven’t seen in years, and my first thought is, “you don’t look young anymore.” I know that sounds mean, but I don’t mean it to be. What I am meaning is they don’t look 20 anymore. As we go through our 20s life starts to take its toll. People who are about to hit their 30s don’t look middle-aged, but they definitely don’t look 20. It is a weird shift. But the realization that I always have next is what hits me hard. “Do I look like that?”
Perspective is such a powerful thing. I look at myself and I see my internal thoughts, desires, and feelings and I transmit that into how I look. I feel insecure like a teenager so I still see myself as young. But those around me see the progression of age and see that I am around 30ish. This is where cultural perception comes in. Some cultures revere age while others honor youthful vigor. Unfortunately, our culture is the latter. We worship young, desire youth, and dishonor age.
Do I look like that?
Don’t get me wrong, youthful vigor is amazing. Having the energy and young complexion does show signs of health. But we have come to value those things over wisdom and experience. Just look at how the rich act. They spend thousands of dollars on surgeries to make them appear young. We butcher the body and ignore the mind. But this isn’t the point of this post. I really just wanted to write out some of my feelings.
Too many times we expect people in their 20s to have it all together. Actually, we expect teenagers to have it all together as well. We have lost the concept of older generations molding the younger. I remember being younger and having my parents develop me through Scripture and other books. They were trying to get me to be a better man. I wonder how many families take that deliberate step? Also, once a person becomes a young adult the training stops. We expect classes to train when mentor relationships are supposed to be.
I think there are more young adults who look into the mirror and feel like I do. The world starts to see the signs of time, but inwardly they are scared and they feel too young for the responsibilities given to them. Too often they have no idea where to turn because the “adults” around them are either in the same situation as them or they don’t seem to understand the issue.
When you stand at the mirror, what do you see?
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